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cheryn-ann
21st jan 89
very female indeed

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*HUGS* TOTAL! hug meeee*
want me to hug you?

-
4:38 a.m. -- 2008-11-19

I HAVE MOVED, YAY

to the same address under blogger, hoorah, no more plain green screen

calciumblock at 4:38 a.m.

-
2:26 p.m. -- 2008-11-08

something happened to my poor blog...i shall try to fix it when i am free...
i have lots of photos actually just too lazy to post uuppppppp

having too much fun!

calciumblock at 2:26 p.m.

-
12:12 p.m. -- 2008-11-07

i'm tired
sometimes i feel like i just wanna be alone
and then i immediately perish the thought

calciumblock at 12:12 p.m.

school as per normal
3:18 a.m. -- 2008-10-15

its post columbus day holiday(DEPRESSED)

went to visit chaolun over the weekend, had fun, his school is nice! miss him already.school sucks...okay la not that bad, just that i have 2 midterms this week and one more next week, BLAST

anyway, some photos of I LOVE MY UGGS
hehe! i'll post pictures of chaolun and me's (grammar..hmmm) apartment when i get the photos, totally swanky and cool!
anyway here goes, steph marisol and i and our lovely ugggssss

so coordinated and cute =)
uggs are the warmest things around man




time to get my camera out and snap some colourful fall photos!
fall is here!

calciumblock at 3:18 a.m.

I KNOW
8:32 p.m. -- 2008-10-07

i haven't blogged in freaking ages
anyway, i'll show you my new friends and the stupid stuff we do
HEHE =)

introducing, marisol, panpan, steph and i!
cam whoring, fun times

baking a cake for yosuke's birthdayyyy










the marshmallow that exploded in the microwave




my bitches and their uggs and longchamp bags...i got uggs too..in brown but i'm not in the picture =(




missing home but having fun!!!
its columbus weekend (ALREADY,timeflies) and i'm going to visit baby =)

calciumblock at 8:32 p.m.

-
10:31 p.m. -- 2008-09-05

i am so miserable right now
sick and lonely
i hate it i hate being here
i wanna go home
i miss daddy and mummy and the boys
and my friends
i'm sobbing in my room on a friday night
wtf is this

calciumblock at 10:31 p.m.

-
8:11 a.m. -- 2008-08-31

i miss home like crazy =(

calciumblock at 8:11 a.m.

brown university
3:00 a.m. -- 2008-08-31

i've uploaded all my photos on facebook but for those who wanna listen to my commentary then here goes =)

brown is fantastic. i'm not big on the socializing but there are people from allll over. the campus is beautiful. food is not bad. i skipped a good part of international orientation to get stuff done and now i'm ponning again and relaxing in my room =)

i stay in new pembroke #4 which is like in the middle with regards to rooming standards, not the best, not the worse.
spent a bomb furnishing my room...actually i think it was okay la, i spent like 120 USD on everything excluding bedding though i paid for it before i came. bought like...bed raisers, fan, lamps, shoerack, hangers, a full length mirror...and some other misc stuff.I AM NOT SPENDING ANYMORE MONEY.i hope.

here's my room/bed
BEFORE (its not like totally before but i couldn't stand the bare bed so i put on the sheets immeidately)

AFTER







closet...looks empty but trust me i have lots of clothes!just a lot of it is in storage.




around brown..the prettiest campus ever!not that i've been to many, but its got a very peaceful rural feel as compared to nus which is nice in a mordern way.










thayer street, stores and restaurants.that tall thing is the only high rise building around here, its the sci-li (science library)




with my new found singaporean/american-ish friend stephanie




at the mega freaking big providence place mall..we were there for more than 5 hours and didn't finish going through half the stores.its crazy.




dining hall, the ratty.i think the food isn't bad, and there is just SO MUCH its nuts.everything is all you can eat and like..just nuts!













kk i'm having a gd time here, can't wait for classes to start then i can get down to business!!

calciumblock at 3:00 a.m.

song of the moment
2:57 p.m. -- 2008-08-27

calciumblock at 2:57 p.m.

meetups..2 days to go
1:47 a.m. -- 2008-08-26

i'm gonna leave sooo soon
now i feel kinda...shrugs.haha.

i always imagined parties to be well..like the grown up kind.everyone mingles and talks and bonds,on their on, spontaneously...but it doesn't seem to come naturally yet, especially since the guys don't really mingle with the girls.anyway, it was nice meeting everyone again. the girls were so self-entertaining i couldn't be happier, and we talked a lot, thats what girls do best.

then met up with pat and anna...the three of us go a long way back, and well, the thing i said to anna about pat and church people will always hold true.pat is the most admirable church person i've ever EVER met, and in future all church people i meet will be held up against her standard. pat is like a demi-god to me =p










anyway, i really think i will miss everyone loads.

DAD because i will miss his cooking and all the documentaries and my political/historical/war discussions with the most knowledgeable man i know.

MUM because i love that loud hearty laugh of hers. the laugh she insists on letting out even though we give her a what's-so-funny stare.

ALEX because i feel so special when he is kind to me.

BRANDON because he is so cute and sincere.

GRANDMA AND PA coz you guys are the sweetest couple ever. i like when grandpa shouts "ruth ah" and when grandma smiles when grandpa is being silly.

ANNA because you're my bestest friend who i feel most at home with and can talk about anything to.

CHERYL coz i can always count on you.

GLORIA because your voice just haunts me =p

NAT because you're really fun you said we are a girl gang =)

special mention should also go to ADNAAN my twin, JOEL and CHUNYEE who are my only gd male friends!

and last but not least
CHAOLUN(aka CHRIS, HA =p) coz i always miss you and it will be a lonely 24 hour plane ride without you =(

HUGS (hug myself).i feel lonely already.

calciumblock at 1:47 a.m.

5 more days to go!
1:26 a.m. -- 2008-08-23

time is passing really fast, and soon i'll be in the US, at school, being busy with all sorts of things just like cl is now.

met up with anna today to just..hang out..its my favourite kind of activity(plus shopping coming in a close second)..just hanging around talking about random things.i'm gonna miss you bff =(

i've finished packing more or less, and everything seems to be within the weight limit thank goodness.

omg i'm leaving.i'm leaving home and family and friends.

everyone should listen to "gotta have you" by the weepies.i wish i could post it here but i can't remember the place i used to upload it le!!

calciumblock at 1:26 a.m.

-
1:52 a.m. -- 2008-08-20

i haven't heard from chaolun in more than 36 hours now and i dunno whether i should be worried or not...but it is making me shoooo sad.

i know he's at a camp thingey but i didn't know contact would be cut and when and why...he didn't say..probably no reception...

oh man who knows.

=((

i think i will cry the next time i hear his voice..argh i'm being so emo

calciumblock at 1:52 a.m.

8 more days..OMFG
4:07 p.m. -- 2008-08-19

i'm leaving so soon..ahhhh depending on what's on my mind at that moment i can be very sad or very excited...don't want to leave my friends and my family and my dirty room

cl has been in the states for close to a week and well, i miss him and he hasn't replied any of my message for more than half a day now coz he's at a camp.urgh.
but at least once in a while i get to see him, thank the heavens of technology =)

print screen looks so funny with this com, coz the screen is long, haha

OK got a lot of things to do, visit grandparents, prepare cl's b-day present, develop photos, pack pack pack..AND i cut my hair with my mum today, haha, ok not say cut la ok, trim, got myself a new short fringe.

okmuaxbyebye

calciumblock at 4:07 p.m.

11 days left
1:02 a.m. -- 2008-08-16

i'm getting really emo and sad
i don't wanna leave
i want to hang out with my bestest and best friends
and i want to be able to meet up with/bump into other familiar faces
i love singapore
don't wanna goooooo

bballers...made me even more emo.

AHHH

calciumblock at 1:02 a.m.

-
4:35 a.m. -- 2008-08-15

can't wait for my hair to grow longggerrrr
my entire bio clock is messed up now..i'm awake at 5am again..
maybe its coz you know, i'm adjusting to chaolun's time.hehe.

ok gonna try to sleep again.zzz.

calciumblock at 4:35 a.m.

people i will miss
11:30 p.m. -- 2008-08-10

went for a girl's day out with glor cheryl nat and yilin. hightea!haha...3 hours to eating and talking.haha and SHOCKING REVELATIONS.
ok pictures...
hilton, checkers restaurant.
glor's cam and mine...argh so annoyed that i don't use my camera

lobby.THOSE ARE MY LEGS.MY REAL LEGS.I SHIT YOU NOT.for once i suddenly think i look kinda hot!HA!ALL HAIL HIGH HEELS!







outside(can't stop looking at those legs that don't look like mine)




sexy lamborg, not my kinda car though.i like cars that look royal or presidential.not playboy toys.




outside zara...some funny foreigner guys took the photo for us..and with their camera too..our photos are floating somewhere out there girls




and finally coffee bean..the end of our outting after walking around




i'm gonna miss these funny, cute, HOLY girls (oh yeah you all know what i'm talking about).

calciumblock at 11:30 p.m.

i'm in such an f-word mood
5:08 a.m. -- 2008-08-08

ok haha, haven't blogged in a while...a list of the things that have been happening

1. nothing much

2. i bought my suitcase.
i shall take pictures and document my packing process coz if you've got as much STUFF as i do, it is one helluva massive process.
(only other person who beats me is chaolun, you have NO IDEA, we're talking 5 new pairs of shoes in a month and too many jackets and jeans for any one normal person)

3. me getting upset about a certain someone saying a certain something behind my back which i feel is quite unjustified and very ungrateful. but i pretend anyway.

4. considered for a long while and then decided to go ahead and plan a farewell party/reunion. i am constantly bugged by this feeling that i'm so screwed and i will be pangsehed. although you know...it could be really good if people come. why not...don't we all miss RJ and want to relive the glory days?

5. and i got my roommate and dorm assignments. my roomie is from montenegro. my dorm has semi-private bathrooms. HOORAH.

6. and then i see that anna has a palace of a dorm room. fk, knew i should've gone to NUS.

7. try to revise all my calculus..which includes differentiation, integration and differential-fucking-equations. no joke. i hate math.

8. beijing olympics is starting today

and i digress.
good luck with school people.
i'm still bumming around and NOT TAKING ANY PICTURES (ARGH)

calciumblock at 5:08 a.m.

-
10:29 p.m. -- 2008-07-25

lotus season is really nice =)

want to be back there

calciumblock at 10:29 p.m.

5 more weeks till i fly to the states
5:51 p.m. -- 2008-07-23

i miss you...
but i'll be back =)
see you in america!

oh and, i'm launching an island-wide search for this pair of shoes.







haha...so many things to do before i go
US visa, NRIC, settle my student bill, shop, pack, meet up with friends...ahh..i'm going away, on my own, so far away!

hope i get to visit chaolun often...suddenly missouri seems kinda far from rhode island =(

calciumblock at 5:51 p.m.

-
12:45 p.m. -- 2008-07-03

hello people
its kinda hard to blog
but gloria insists i blog sth in order to push the previous photo down
for some crazy reason she thinks she looks fat
thats the kind of thing skinny people say that drives hefty people like me to anorexia-dom
not that i have not already accepted my fate as a non-skinny person

totally don't want to go home
or to uni

argh, and you know what
someone is just being so darn annoying

calciumblock at 12:45 p.m.

THE DAY BEFORE TMRW
6:15 p.m. -- 2008-06-23

no one can understand my excitement
I AM JUST TOO EXCITED
hahaha!!!

anyway
met up with the girls this morning for breakfast at bunalun (hope i got that right) ahahaha, new day new discovery.

i'm really so grateful to God and maybe to fate(i'm quite divided concerning that, not) that i got to know them in JC.
they are such wonderful people and great friends.
i don't know how to put any further emphasis on the fact that they are such fantastic people with BIG HEARTS (HAHA!)

sometimes i moan quietly to myself (ok and to chaolun) that i don't have many friends...i'm not part of a big girl gang, i'm not quite the social butterfly though i am quite ok in social situations, i don't get invited to parties and social nights =.= hiahia.

i guess i don't like to get that close to that many people...

maybe i'm lazy!or maybe i don't like to tell people too many things (but i like to talk).

i really do like being alone.
i like being an extroverted introvert.
and while i don't like making too many friends,
i really have to thank God for intro-ing me to such nice people.

so a few is enough.
a few good men.
a few good friends.
and of course anna, coz no one can replace her!

calciumblock at 6:15 p.m.

more japan
9:41 p.m. -- 2008-06-22

imperial palace garden: lots of plants

yasakuni shrine: the one that pissed china off

calciumblock at 9:41 p.m.

-
10:36 p.m. -- 2008-06-21

my period is making me so cranky and when i am this cranky,
i feel like calling anna and bitching to her about all the people who have ever offended me, people who have not offended me but whose existence offends me, people i don't like for a good reason, people i don't like for no good reason ETC!
and i feel like bitching to my blog and making a list of all these people who annoy me quietly in their subtle vibe-y ways
i am so annoyed that i am so mean but in a sense it is quite liberating.
when i am having my period i just let loose and blast out, in my mind at least.

grrr just so grouchy
go away period.

calciumblock at 10:36 p.m.

japan..lost count of how many rounds
9:45 p.m. -- 2008-06-21

alex and his favorite starbucks

random




japanese kanji is kinda chinese...but it isn't




japanese kids and a geisha?haha just a lady in a kimono, there are people who go out in these.very nice.







TSUKIJI FISH MARKET
totally worth waking up for

guess what

massive fish frozen in dry ice and red big-eye fish (quite cute!)







very fresh (and raw) sushi..only alex really liked it











shops selling interesting stuff







believe it or not i still have somemore pictures from somemore places of interest.

but i'm going away soon and there's no guarantee i can or will update while i'm there.

calciumblock at 9:45 p.m.

japan round 3
11:01 p.m. -- 2008-06-18

AND, out with pat and anna!
PAT LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!oh the stresses of a top school in a cold place.

ok japan, meiji shrine, yes, one more.


















jump shot!




cute prayers




getting into the jap fashion.haha, though i can't say i have the legs for it, kept me warm for what its worth.

calciumblock at 11:01 p.m.

japan round 2
9:58 p.m. -- 2008-06-17

hakone...a more scenic, less city-ish area

all pictures no words!!hahaha more tmrw =)

calciumblock at 9:58 p.m.

japan! round 1
12:11 p.m. -- 2008-06-17

ok japan photos!

harajuku street
home of crazy teen fashion and cosplayers

you can buy close to everything in japan from vending machines, from drinks to cigarettes to flowers




yasakusa shrine and shopping!

















pretty darn amazing clogs in a street-side shop










nice place huh =) MORE PICTURES TMRW!still got meiji shrine, hakone AND tsukiji fish market

calciumblock at 12:11 p.m.

back from japan
10:52 a.m. -- 2008-06-14

hello people!
3GB of photos and 20 extra kg of baggage later, i am now back from japan!
did a lot of shopping and went completely bonkers about the stationery.love it.

japan is an insanely organized society, you gotta see it to understand.everyone (EVERYONE) stands on the left of an escalator, one step apart, people line up to go onto the train, there is ZERO litter although there are no bins, they separate all their trash into paper plastics glass and so on so on...they are just so damn disciplined!!

anyway, while i unpack and distribute the loot i have come back with, i will need some extra extra time to sort out my 3GB++ worth of photos (2GB from alex and 1 combined me and my mum =.=)

so for now you get to see us dressed up as samurai.hahahha, it was a weird dress up session.

calciumblock at 10:52 a.m.

=D
7:08 p.m. -- 2008-06-07

tokyo here i come!

calciumblock at 7:08 p.m.

-
9:53 a.m. -- 2008-06-03

was talking to an 'old friend' today
and felt quite a strong vibe of skepticism from her regarding my choices
like, not deciding to do med after years of wanting to be a doctor
and hoping to go to china with cl(mostly to do with bf)
and so on and so forth
not new to me
i am used to getting this sort of skepticism from everyone
friends foes and family alike
perhaps only anna knows how i feel
although i love all my other friends
i think anna knows best because she has her own similar experience
and so i trust that anna knows exactly how i feel on this
i am quite sick of it
people thinking i'm making a bad decision, i'm too idealistic yada yada
when it is so far from the truth
i am one hell of a pragmatic person, i make practical plans, prepare for the worse and hope for the best
a good balance between cynicism and extreme optimism
so the next time you say i'm too idealistic
maybe you are being too cynical

and so at the risk of having I TOLD YOU SO
thrown in my face
i'd like to say that i know it will be alright
i believe it will work out
no matter how hard it is (i know okay, i don't need people going, "don't you know how hard long d is?" dude, i know)

because one day i might just invite you to my wedding
for the sake of being able to throw an I TOLD YOU SO
right back at you

bugger off skeptics.you bunch of assholes.

calciumblock at 9:53 a.m.

cheryn-ann is
11:06 p.m. -- 2008-06-01

taking a moment to let it all sink in
its going to be a long and hard 6 years.

calciumblock at 11:06 p.m.

-
11:09 p.m. -- 2008-05-29

it hurts

you know how much effort and thought i put into it?
i just want you to have what you want
at least
help me to help you
be happy about it
be positive

you always make me feel i've done something wrong

calciumblock at 11:09 p.m.

=(
1:12 a.m. -- 2008-05-29

my life.
i, me, myself.
by myself.
sobs.

i must tell you about my day

it wasn't so bad really, except when it first started out.

1.missed the condo bus out, so i had to walk.
2. raining heavily.
3. stupid driver SPED past me and splashed water all over my dress.
4. stupid driver SPED past me and splashed water all over my dress.
5. stupid driver SPED past me and splashed water all over my dress.

actually there was only 1 inconsiderate asshole but just for emphasis' sake i have ranted thrice.

i was like..WHAT THE FREAK (you know i really mean fuck) and was DAMN PISSED. rehearsing in my mind how i would close my umbrella(lightning speed) and fling it(pretty far) hit his car and then, screeech it would stop.and then he would get out, and then i would give him a piece of my mind.screaming many many many freak-s (you know i really mean fuck-s)

i was just so pissed i felt quite silly for being so childish, it will dry anyway right.but yeah, i was THAT pissed.

and then my mind just went to silly things like random m&m cravings.
ah the incoherent madness that is cheryn-ann's life.

saying i kinda miss cl would be an understatement
but i don't want to sound like a wussy brat

life is kinda =| without you

calciumblock at 1:12 a.m.

-
4:58 p.m. -- 2008-05-18

i'm gonna miss singapore...
i'll be away a lot for the months running up to uni
we might not be together in singapore again =(

calciumblock at 4:58 p.m.

-
12:42 a.m. -- 2008-05-14

i love you to bits baby

and now i know i can't be the only one
i bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
with the love of their life who feel
what i feel when i'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
with you, with you, with you, with you, with you...

shalala

calciumblock at 12:42 a.m.

i need to change the way i think
1:19 p.m. -- 2008-05-12

this post is password protected i don't take it back though

calciumblock at 1:19 p.m.

-
3:02 a.m. -- 2008-05-12

i can't sleep and i'm feeling really depressed
i think the borrowed time thing anna mentioned is kicking in.

sometimes i feel i am all ready to 'leave the nest' travel out and realise my academic potential at a new school

i have come up with all my nifty little plans to combat high phone bills, photo-sharing, home sickness
my plan to combat high phone bills being of primary concern since me and cl can talk for ages and i would like to call my friends(who will also be all over the world) as well as my family..strange how that turned out in that order...probably coz its not first instinct for me to call my parents when sth bad happens
that might change
haha

wish me luck people
cheers to my investment that will rid me and cl of phone bills
cheers to my farewell gifts plan
cheers to my bank account
cheers to my tutees who i will have to part with earlier than expected
cheers to me telling my tutees and their parents (shit)
cheers to my jap lessons
cheers to my meet-his-parents-again plan

so many freaking plans
i better write everything out on paper
i will make myself a freaking busy woman
pitch my investment proposal to my parents
eat nothing
buy nothing
get thin
get happy

sounds like a plan.

calciumblock at 3:02 a.m.

-
1:21 a.m. -- 2008-05-11

had a great time with the girls today
waiting for pictures!

alright i'm gonna be mia for a while basically because i am camera-less

heh, starting jap lessons soon and still looking for people to take over my tuitioning.

toodles.

calciumblock at 1:21 a.m.

tell me where you're going for uni!
11:37 a.m. -- 2008-05-07

im kind of freaking out about going ovs to study on my own
i'm scared of going
i'm also scared i will not be able to meet everyone before they go to their respective unis.
so, someone join me to plan a pre-uni gathering in august, i want to be able to meet as many many many people as possible before i go..like a little reunion, like brian's birthday party all over again times 10..zzz...not ready to say good bye to singapore =(=(

calciumblock at 11:37 a.m.

happy days
9:09 p.m. -- 2008-05-06

i miss baby
first day at the beach




silly jump shots







don't want to take photos, fine!i take myself, hehe




i'm a slave for you




baby and i =)










eating dinner at marche vivocity
i'm eating, don't take -stare-




nicer one




fun!hehe!and iron man rocks!
cl's master piece, haha

calciumblock at 9:09 p.m.

-
3:26 p.m. -- 2008-05-02

me and the bf went for a little break
see his funny looking little toe?haha, more photos soon..

i'm missing it already..zzz..back to life as usual =(

and any of my schoolmates interested in taking on some kids for tuition please let me know, i have to find someone to replace me from mid of june onwards!

calciumblock at 3:26 p.m.

lazy to find titles!
11:19 a.m. -- 2008-04-30

i realise that my dear chaolun is most grumpy when he thinks he doesn't look good
how adorably silly is that!
i find it quite funny when he says that he looks like shit today
in my heart i kinda go like
yeah right
but sweetly say you look fine dear

HA stupid cl, why you so cute?

the poor guy couldn't sleep all night for some reason and he's really tired now.i guess you can't try very hard to sleep, the more you try the harder it is!

poor cl!

calciumblock at 11:19 a.m.

-
10:47 p.m. -- 2008-04-27

sheep farmer!!!
i love sheep farmer

calciumblock at 10:47 p.m.

-
7:14 p.m. -- 2008-04-27

feels like the longest and shortest 2 months i've ever experienced, both at the same time
i feel so tired
but then i try to remember what i know
and constantly remind myself
that even if i don't have a hand to hold
i can grab my teddy bear
and brave any storm
i'm never really alone.

this is a nice picture
blue skies make me feel very carefree

from the photographer,
欣慰的是天还是很蓝, 云在向前飘浮着
瞎子. 随波逐流.

calciumblock at 7:14 p.m.

the lion sleeps tonight
9:23 p.m. -- 2008-04-25

strange title
anyway
i am more at peace now
i feel enlightened

even if none of my plans go the way i hope they will
at least i know my destination is the same
and we will meet there
no matter where we stop along the way

mummy is right
cl is right
anna is right
mr mag is right

i am (finally) at peace.

i love you baby =)

i'm off to play sheep farmer, this retard but absolutely delightful little game on warcraft about building and defending your own sheep farm.

calciumblock at 9:23 p.m.

-
4:50 p.m. -- 2008-04-24

i'm really depressed about it
i need to not think about it
followed my gut feeling
i know myself

too driven for my own good

calciumblock at 4:50 p.m.

and the battle rages on
7:49 p.m. -- 2008-04-23

i am not functional anymore
just let me sleep

who would've thought getting almost everything i wanted
could turn out to be such an ordeal

i'm tired
i wish i could escape to somewhere
just me
sleeping

calciumblock at 7:49 p.m.

-
4:49 a.m. -- 2008-04-23

i don't want to face this
i am going to sleep
and i'm not going to wake up

calciumblock at 4:49 a.m.

-
12:49 a.m. -- 2008-04-23

i'm so scared
i hate making this decision
i've gotten as many opinions as i possibly can
but this still boils down to me
no one can fully comprehend my thoughts
most people just give me the rational point of view

very true
very rational
but obviously
not enough to trump my emotions.

so scared baby =(

calciumblock at 12:49 a.m.

funny
2:29 a.m. -- 2008-04-21

i do funny things when i can't sleep
i read my "old friend's" blogs
(not that i really think for a second that even during those "old days" they were friends, some)
ok anyway
was reading blogs of people i used to know
used to come in contact with
feel the urge to name a few
but i shan't
and i find that i am completely unable to relate to anything that they write
i just have this "knowing" grin on my face
like
been there done that

have i really?
haha
had enough of it long ago.

calciumblock at 2:29 a.m.

time is flying =(
10:13 p.m. -- 2008-04-20

i slept in while cl went out for his class outing this morning,
pretty happy with the way things are going now

anyway
out with the old in with the new!
i'm gonna miss my big 'ol laptop
its the absolute best for watching movies
screen is just imba big

i need a vacationnnnnn
i need to spend everyday having fun
i need to meet up with my friends
at least i cam whored


ok i promised cl i would go to bed at the same time as him

hehe
good night cl,
hope you don't have any bad dreams
hope you don't ever feel tired again
and hope your knee miraculously heals
(altho i think the solution is just not to play soccer for 3 hours straight, you're getting old)
muah!
by the way, let's go to the gym and swim on thursday!

calciumblock at 10:13 p.m.

haha.
10:29 a.m. -- 2008-04-19

i've never been very scared to piss people off
i mean, i don't want to (usually!)
but i guess i'm a little bit irreverant
i speak my mind and
i don't care all that much
(i won't dare claim to be completely nonchalant)
about what people think of me
but with cl i tread carefully
more carefully

haha.

anyway, i bought a new laptop.
its a beauty.
all 1.2kg of it

i can't wait to take a vacation.
like maybe..
to somewhere like that

=D
from rach e's blog

and the little things that hurt
but you try not to cry
because you know its silly
and you know that he loves you

calciumblock at 10:29 a.m.

You're special
1:27 a.m. -- 2008-07-16

I realized something today
As I waited at Mr Mag’s house for you to come back
And on the bus to meet you for dinner
I was so excited to see you
Just like the first few times we met, heart racing and all
Even as the cab drove off away from my house
I skipped back home
Almost slipped and fell
Smiling like a child gone silly
Just like the first night you sent me home after our “failed” date at Swensen’s
And every date after,
You’d turn back to wave, with a longing look on your face
And when I look at you
It’s with that same respect, awe and almost reverence
Thinking “How the hell did I find you?”
Like those first few months we were together

We’ve had a generous helping of downs this past month
Lots of quarrels and disappointment
Lots of uncertainty about the future
And honestly, a fair bit of anger and blame

But now I realize
Nothing has changed except in my mind
And I’ve slowly hacked away at the insecurities and fears
About your faithfulness, my faithfulness, the future,
Our future
And I believe we can do it
We can work through these 4 years,
We can make it

And after that,
The issues that we quarreled about this past month
Can be made to be non-issues
Because we agree to disagree
I agree to disagree
I will be less stubborn
I will respect the way you spend your money
The decisions you make
And the people you choose to extend your kindness to

I will learn to hold my tongue and support you

But I will say that I support you, not without a quiet word of caution
Because I trust you to make decisions that are kind and right
But I still don’t want anything bad to happen,
Or people to take advantage of you

And I will learn,
That at the end of the day
Even if you didn’t heed my word of caution
And your decision may have been kind but not right
That I should be the one to comfort you
To lend you a listening ear
And to help you get over the set back and regain your optimism about life and your trust in people

Because I realize
Although my pragmatic nature has its applications
I love and admire you for your idealism and kindness
You are kind beyond reason
And by saying “I told you so” whenever you got hurt
Would turn you into me

That’s the last thing I want
Because although I love myself for the way I am
I love you for the way you are

Idealistic, kind, loving, trusting
Often uncompromisingly
And without careful contemplation
Totally not my style
But I love you for those things
Those are the things about you that make me look at you that way
In awe and utter amazement
You’re special.

calciumblock at 1:27 a.m.

remind me
12:43 a.m. -- 2008-04-14

i realised photobucket isn't to blame
its my computer!
i even tried moving to xanga but the system is just too complicated for my rudimentary diaryland self.

watching man u vs arsenal
good game

i am such a funny person.
i don't know why i am disliking myself so much right now.

calciumblock at 12:43 a.m.

becoming lazy
2:09 p.m. -- 2008-07-11

photobucket is annoying me =(

don't feel like doing any work anymore!!

lazing around feels great!

calciumblock at 2:09 p.m.

i can't remember
10:10 p.m. -- 2008-04-08

when
and why
we stopped being perfect

calciumblock at 10:10 p.m.

its a broken hallelujah
5:56 p.m. -- 2008-04-07

i'm so depressed..
even though i shouldn't be

i've got a lot of things to be thankful for.
uni admission, scholarship
my most foreseeable future is quite bright.

but i'm still depressed.
baby save me.

i don't know why everything seems so meaningless now.

calciumblock at 5:56 p.m.

a million love songs later
9:40 p.m. -- 2008-04-06

here i am

saying the same things
wishing you'd agree with me

calciumblock at 9:40 p.m.

i love my baby like i love oreo cookie centers.
11:09 a.m. -- 2008-04-06

had a surprise party for brian here yesterday night..felt funny having so many boys in my house...all packed in my living room watching the liverpool arsenal game.

lots of people i've been dying to meet and lots of people who i think i wouldn't meet again after this year.feel a bit..sad?haha.

some pictures from when me and cl went on the singapore flyer.not too bad, just that i was trying so hard to take pictures it killed the romantic time.haha!
go at night!

its an interesting memory.

i love you baby
you're the silver lining on my cloudy day cloud =)

and i love my BFF&EVER&EVER
we are 2 really special and weird dudes.

P.S. (not i love you -.-) can't wait for my hair to GROWWWWWWW

calciumblock at 11:09 a.m.

silver lining
8:21 p.m. -- 2008-03-28

searching real hard for it nowwwww

today's final GIC interview went totally horrigibly.so disappointed...just when i starting feeling hopeful about it.

so i'm preparing myself for rejection.

i don't want to expect anything anymore.and i wish people wouldn't expect anything of me.

going to mourn now.

calciumblock at 8:21 p.m.

-
12:21 p.m. -- 2008-03-21

second thoughts always come to my mind so quickly

like in serendipity where she reads into every sign, every word, every disagreement, trying to find some sort of affirmation that this is right.

because if its anything i've learnt from these past 2 years, its never to wish for whats not yours

because even if it does become yours by some weird twist of fate, you always worry that it never really is.

thank you bff, i must have sounded like a mad woman over the phone

calciumblock at 12:21 p.m.

oh no, the emo got me.
6:28 p.m. -- 2008-03-19

when i was doing the psc psychometric test, it hit me once again..i mean i've always sort of known...that my personality is very inconsistent.

for example,

Q. on a saturday night i would like to be
a)at home alone
b)at a party
i'd rather be at home alone.

Q. when in a group i tend to
a)be the talkative one
b)be the quiet one
i'm usually the one talking.

Q. i find it easy to talk to people about myself
a)true
b)false
true,i can't talk a lot about myself man.self-love is important.

Q. i keep my problems to myself
a)most of the time
b)rarely
most of the time.

i am a extrovert but an introvert...i mean, i understand that there are different degrees and anyone can be inbetween.its just funny how i am selectively extroverted and really introverted too.i want to talk to people but then when i start typing the message, sometimes i decide not to.i feel so lonely and wish to myself i had someone to talk to, but when i do take some action, i hang up while the phone is ringing coz i decide i shouldn't.

but right now i really want to talk to someone, but i can't find anyone.

my guard is up again.

everyone should and needs to protect themselves.

that's what i learnt about myself from the psc test.

i feel the constant need to protect myself from people.

i am so weird.
sometimes i feel i deserve to be alone.

calciumblock at 6:28 p.m.

-
5:06 p.m. -- 2008-03-18

i wonder if all couples go through like a few stages..from "honeymoon,everything you do is great" to "you're occasionally annoying DEAR" to "i loathe you, perpetually" to "resignation" and then maybe back to the honeymoon for some strange old retirees..if not its resignation or loathing to the grave!

haha!my parents have come full circle now.

i think i can get pretty annoying with my occasional high-for-no-reason mood swings and my busybody-ness..or even my impatience when people take too long to explain things(i do get reallly impatient when people take very long to explain sth, then it turns out to be so simple =.=)

but no crime against nature there.

its ok, i said 'i hate you' so many times in my mind already.my mind is kind of accustomed to hearing that phrase.altho i still got a shock,quick adjustment for me.

i shall work on being less annoying.

its funny,im always pretty confident except with you.
used to think it was kind of like a, "i want to be better" thing.

but now i'm thinking maybe not.

calciumblock at 5:06 p.m.

doing mpa essay now
2:47 p.m. -- 2008-03-17

i am getting a little bored of life...hahhaa just the occasional itch to like, DO STUFF...instead of just the usual, hang out at home...haha even though i do like afternoons like these, lazing at home.

i am typing on cl's computer which is so hot, like temperature-wise, it feels it will explode into flames any moment now.my com is dying and so i have decided to get a new one.sweeeet.

i am waiting patiently to go to japan and get myself a vaio.VGN-TZ26GN.

CHIO!
oh by the way whats the male equivalent of chiobu?i've been thinking about it for so long...

ok i shall plan sth to do on thursday when cl and i are uber free..esp since i am now economically empowered to make grandplans of my own.muahaha.

calciumblock at 2:47 p.m.

-
1:30 a.m. -- 2008-03-14

i got myself an ugly haircut...haha

where is this from?

i want ;
a guy who calls me beautiful instead of hot ,
who calls me back when i hang up on him
who will lie underneath the stars and listen to my heartbeat ,
or will stay awake , just to watch me sleep .
wait for the boy who pursues me ,
who kisses my forehead ,
the one who wants to show me off to the world in sweatpants and no makeup .
who holds my hand in front of his friends ,
who thinks i'm the prettiest thing and insists on holding me around the waist .
the one who is constantly reminding me of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have me .
the one who turns to his friends and says
' yeah , thats her . '
maybe, just maybe i might have that.

i want also.

hahaha, baby you're all those things =)

calciumblock at 1:30 a.m.

-
10:26 p.m. -- 2008-03-09

my results were good, cl's results were good, most my friend's results were good, dinner was good (kinda like china immersion program), work is good, home is good, bank account is good.

life is so fricking fantastic

i dunno what else to say, life is so eventful but still there is a comfortable level of predictability.there are things eventful enough to blog about but i don't feel like it coz well..i just want to quietly enjoy my life and its strange but delightful ups and downs.

cl and i quarrel now.isn't that some news?!i told one of my friends i'd let her know when he and i start to bicker.haha, and we do now.but its still so funny, it doesn't last long, and it feels very..okay!hahaha, it seems like a normal part of life, our little fights here and there.

i was just thinking today.because sometimes he is so guai and nice it frustrates me..i mean, not that its a bad thing and i like that he's such a nice guy, its just..you can't let people take advantage of you..and you gotta learn to bend the rules once in a while.but anyway, i was thinking that well, its funny that when i decided that bad boys are trouble and i'd never ever like a bad boy again, fate brings along the guai-est guai boy in the guai guai bunch.

haha, cl is just so dreamy.

uncool but so dreamy still.

calciumblock at 10:26 p.m.

-
8:29 p.m. -- 2008-03-03

i saw this picture of cl on facebook and..it is so cute!hahaha,he never makes such funny faces when i take pictures of him..he always gives me this 'i wanna smile but don't really want to smile' kind of smile.haha, so strange and awkward..

oh and what are the black things behind...look like trash bags.

he's coming back!this saturday =)yayyyyyy.i do love his long hair.look at it!its back to its manga-like length -beams-

i like my boyfriend, can you tell?

calciumblock at 8:29 p.m.

best friend day
12:42 a.m. -- 2008-03-02

hello dudes.haha i'm so into the 'dude' thing.i sometimes find myself saying the dude thing annoying too.stop ca!

haha, cam whore!

i'm back from my best friend day and watching this show called "things i hate about you" where a couple uses hidden cameras to record down their partners irritating behaviour..its really funny.i think the most irritating thing about cl is..i dunno..i know there's something...but not a lot, he's very agreeable.

anyway!

pictures..haha anna and i rarely take photos, but we did today!we practically spent the whole day together.haha.

anna's meatball noodles, stuff i do not like.

and us!haha after we bought my jeans at gap, we just kinda stood outside sasa and cam whored.it was funny coz well..we were laughing hysterically and people walking past kinda paused to stare, hehe!










dude, i love you!

calciumblock at 12:42 a.m.

GNO
1:05 a.m. -- 2008-02-19

PS Cafe with the girls on sunday night.nice place!

we had all sorts of desserts..haha good stuff esp the double choco cake thing.haha.

i think we have outgrown the photowhore phase...haha actually not..just that we had a lot to talk about.







girl friends are the best kind of company!haha, but don't worry cl, i love your company too!=D

date with anna on saturday, can't wait!

calciumblock at 1:05 a.m.

-
4:12 p.m. -- 2008-02-14

so chinese new year was the usual uneventful event =.= ok it was alright..visiting,eating..and ang paos dude.not much but ah well.haha.

last night anna and i went out on this impromptu thing..just suddently decided we wanted to like..go out and do stuff.haha, we were just supposed to do nails!then we ended up watching kung fu slam dunk (STUPID) and being hyper silly all night.haha!funzzzz!

OHOH AND I MUST SHOW YOU THIS.i was laughing like a crazy kuku what the hell idiot..but its damn friggin funny and ironic.

HA!a big huge banner that says quality TUITIONS!there is like no such word..zzz so friggin ironic.stupid mistake hello.quality tuitions.haha!

bad english just..annoys me sometimes.haha!poor cl!

calciumblock at 4:12 p.m.

-
12:55 a.m. -- 2008-02-08

so bored
and so emo
feel so isolated
so sad =(
but shouldn't complain
its not like my life
is very bad or anything

miss my friends a lot
i need some company

calciumblock at 12:55 a.m.

its feb already
8:34 p.m. -- 2008-02-05

just a moment ago while walking to the computer,i decided to get a toblerone mini (LOVES!) and indulge myself for once but when i opened the packet, the whole chocolate fell out.oh shucks right, nehmind, 5 second rule, i promptly picked it up and almost got it to my mouth when, lo and behold, i dropped it again!and then i catched it again and dropped it again.then i was like..god is trying to tell me sth man!helping me to keep to my diet!haha!

anyway anyway, we celebrated a very belated birthday for me a few days ago.haha, my mum was singing "happy belated birthday to you"..haha kinda silly, but very cute.haha

FACE SO DAMN ROUND >_<

and i've been pretty excited about cleaning up and getting the little apartment-ish place above the clinic ready for cl and his friends to come stay when they come back.went to ikea and stuff there is cheap sia.

choosing between 2 bed frames.

the metal one is much nicer of course but its 99 instead of the wooden 49 one.wahlao 49 is cheap.

pillow, 3.50!

hahaha,i was playing with the khaki trenchcoat cl bought me some time ago and tried to wear it as a dress..i made the sleeves shorter and tied a sash.brandon said i look like sherlock holmes..sherlock holmes caught in a zi-lian moment.haha..overall i think its ok, but still, sg is too hot, i'll look like an idiot.haha.




have a happy chinese new year people!

calciumblock at 8:34 p.m.

build a bear!
1:21 p.m. -- 2008-02-01

went out with chunyee yesterday to treat him to a birthday dinner and then we went to build a bear just for fun, he has had an interesting experience building his own bear.

it was sooo adorable..they have all sorts of clothes and accessories and shoes and underwear and props and costumes for the bears!!makes perfect gifts.perfect!

i built a bear for chaolun and its so cute, i love it...it'll keep me company till he comes back

don't you just hate my hair =(

calciumblock at 1:21 p.m.

jilin
9:12 p.m. -- 2008-01-30

hey everyone, some pictures from jilin, chaolun's home city =)

i've put on weight in these photos, haha, my face is very round.

on the overnight train ride to jilin.

this white thingey on the trees is call "wu song", its frozen fog, not snow!really pretty.



















i've decided to bum around for a while and prepare to enjoy cny!hehe =)

calciumblock at 9:12 p.m.

CHINA!
8:36 p.m. -- 2008-01-15

hehe, i'm here in jilin now, at cl's home.we went to shanghai first then to beijing then back here.its really really cold.its been in the vicinity of -30 of late.freaking freaking cold.

okok so i guess i'll start with shanghai, although i didn't really like it very much..the people aren't very nice and there isn't much to do.shanghai is a big urban city, quite like a not so clean singapore.hehe.

some pictures at the oriental pearl tower..cl says its the symbol of shanghai...welllll..it doesn't look very pretty and the view would've been better if not for the smog...its really windy up there, almost died.

BEIJING!my favourite place..lots to see and do and the people are much nicer.we also met cl's handsome cousin in beijing liwei.

some pictures of beijings "xiao chi jie"

we also went to eat beijing's famous roast duck at the most famous restaurant.it was daylight robbery.cl didn't like it, and neither did i really.




forbidden city..it was really nice altho parts of it were under construction.

hugging the pillar for warmth

more nice pictures..

























and finally, the great wall..its really far from beijing city center so it was such a hassle getting there..and it was so damn tiring to climb...hehe..but again, just for experience's sake.













there are just too many photos!will update with photos of jilin soon!the snow is really nice!

cl is bored now, better go keep him company!

miss you all...and happy birthday to all the january babies!most of my best friends are january babies =)

calciumblock at 8:36 p.m.

merry indeed.
10:43 p.m. -- 2007-12-25

hehe, my christmas was pretty nice.

i had a family dinner on monday before work.and i wore my favourite kimono dress!anna says i like to wear the same things over and over..firstly coz i'm a lazy dresser and also coz i look good!=D

i worked till late on eve..the bar was nuts.it was noisy...and there was puke =( but it felt quite nice..felt like christmas for sure..maybe it was coz of the techno silent night blasting..i found that to be very comical.

then i spent christmas morning sleeping..i was dead beat and then i went to church.very appropriate huh!but i really enjoyed it.it was a little funny, being an "old-new-friend" but i find that i am more comfortable in church now.i think i've grown as a person since i last went and less skeptical about people.chaolun has his effect on me, but i'm glad i went =) nice way to start my christmas day =) thanks chunyee..altho i wished i had woken up early enough to go for the morning service coz anna went too!!I MISS YOU ANNA!

oh then SHOPPING!!with alex =) i love that lil bugger.i haven't found a better shopping companion than alex, no joke.i mean, i love shopping with chaolun or with anna or the girls like glor and cheryl..but nothing beats shopping with alex.he gives nice good cute but honest advice, he is patient, he waits and he looks around for nice stuff for me and he is real happy to shop with me too! =) my bro rocks =) looking forward to shopping with brandon too =) i love my brothers!

i bought some stuff from mango including a nice white jacket!i bought a big big big size so i can wear many layers underneath.gloria says white is my colour..hahaha guess so!

and i bought all my good friends peejays just like mine =) i think they're uber cute.




and poor alex, so tired after his work and partying and shopping with me!haha, i love alex =)

calciumblock at 10:43 p.m.

-
3:33 a.m. -- 2007-12-25

my life is fantastic.

it really is...

i don't have all that much to be sad about but the thing about life now is not that it is free from the usual ups and downs and worries and stress (and apps =.=) but that i feel that i have everything i need to face whatever comes my way.

there are some things, however, that i am completely unprepared for.those things scare me to death..like not being able to get a scholarship or not going to the same country as chaolun, or...if my grandfather passes away when i'm on vacation.oh man.that would be horrible...but its christmas, and we should all be positive.

tmrw i'm going to church grandma, because i promised i'd pray for grandpa right? i like to keep my promises, especially those that i make to people whom i love =)

merry christmas all.

calciumblock at 3:33 a.m.

AH HA!
9:03 p.m. -- 2007-12-21

HELLO PEOPLE.omg its been a while.haha i've been busy working!i give tuition in the mornings then wait tables at a bar at night.i am making money man!heh.

anyway i'll be flying off to see chaolun on the 30th and i'm not too sure if i can update while i'm there...supposedly china banned diaryland =.= whatever for goodness knows.

GIC interview on wednesday!i was so sad i thot they had forgotten me...but thank god!yay!

anyway,some pictures from my favourite part of italy, visit to vatican city.

brothers!

i love looking at buildings and architecture, italy is my kind of holiday!

















at the museum

calciumblock at 9:03 p.m.

-
12:13 a.m. -- 2007-12-15

back from another WTF day.

i miss baby =(

calciumblock at 12:13 a.m.

-
1:38 p.m. -- 2007-12-14

i look pretty happy here, but i am damn frustrated!!!

work sucks.i am such a pussy but stil...damn tired la can.

and the uni apps just so full of shit!WTF!

and i miss baby =(

the weather was sunny for once yesterday..

ah man i'm just feeling so shitty now.bye.

calciumblock at 1:38 p.m.

i'm not a clubbing person
10:55 a.m. -- 2007-12-13

went for mambo night ytd and all i can say is..thank god it was free. i didn't stay long coz i had to be up today.but i didn't like it anyway. i don't like crowds, i hate the pushing and shoving on the dance floor.and i was too scared to drink much, later merlion again then i will have an even stinkier track record (its very literal, my puke is mega stinky =( so unglam)

i am not a clubbing person.i am uncool and like to stay home.haha, but i love good company, and a little alcohol is nice too.

hope narpal will survive in NS.i remember him saying (when he was high) "i don't give a fuck about physical fitness, all i care about is my voice". and rightly so =) in all his self promotion and self praise, i actually do think it holds some truth.for one, i think in ten years time i will be proud to have known him.

haha and kenny is like, such a big brother kinda guy.to shame, he is not scary at all. dunno why i was scared of him.

a night out clubbing is supposed to be siao until the next day cannot remember anything.haha, but i end up thinking(in general) and thinking to myself that i really do like these guys, even when they're noisy and irreverant or singing incessantly or saying all the wrong things and can't shut up.

calciumblock at 10:55 a.m.

girls day out
9:13 p.m. -- 2007-12-11

went to sentosa with the girls today, it rained before and after we were there..lucky huh!

haha, i don't like the beach tho...i much prefer